he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
