My nipple is on Facebook.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
