I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
