I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
