Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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