whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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