If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize