Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
