great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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