I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
too bad you live with your parents still
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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