I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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