I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
