I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize