Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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