It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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