all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
