I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize