So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
