That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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