I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
