its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
