I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
