Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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