I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
