he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The adults are the big ones right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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