Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
