i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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