THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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