Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
