it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
