People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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