i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
