I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
