Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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