he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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