My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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