Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
