Moan for me like Helen Keller
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
