And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
