my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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