you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
