idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
