I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
