How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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