he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
