Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
