Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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