1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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