Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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