Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
