I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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